I was with Kim Kardashian (!?!WTF) and we were going to be “performing” for Kanye’s birthday party. We got to the venue which was a huge raw loft space decorated/littered with glitter and toilets (yes. The entire room). This big bouncer dude shows up to give us our goody bags that have our outfits in them and other “party favors” to get us in the mood.
There is some blow in the bag, mirror, booze, really tiny outfits, stripper heels, and HUGE black dildos that are covered in grape jelly. (am I secret racist????) It is explained to us that when everyone is seated and we get the signal, we will come out onstage and fuck each other, fuck ourselves, and fuck whomever cares to join us, and that Kanye will be dj’ing a set to match our activities. We’re like, “ok, great”.
Right before we go onstage, Kim turns to me and says really excitedly, “OMG. I can barely stand it. I just know Kanye is going to ask me to marry him tonight!!” And I look at her and say, “Kim, the man who asks you to entertain him at his birthday party by fucking your friend, yourself, and strangers with a big black dildo covered in grape jelly has no intention of marrying you. EVER.” Her face crumbled and then I woke up.
Cherry Picking 2014
st★r f*cker
New plays… based on your little celebrity tales from between the sheets.
August 25-26th
The Wild Project
NYC
cherry picking 